I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
