Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
