Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's shark week go big or go home
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
