My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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