Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
