i just google imaged poop.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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