Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
