dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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