Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
