I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
