With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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