I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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