those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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