When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
