I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
