home. puking in laundry basket.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
