it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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