i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
