I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
