i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
