Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
