I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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