News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She bit a glass in half.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
