Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just cropdusted the office
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
