Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All I want is dick and wine.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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