I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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