i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she looked like the before picture.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
