Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
