Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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