Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
