And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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