: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
