umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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