Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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