Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
