I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
