More tranny stories later!
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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