I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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