so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
