just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
