So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
