I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm at about main and main street
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
