It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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