Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
