There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
