wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
