Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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