Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
