I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
