You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
