You're so nebulous sometimes
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
