oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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