Betty ford says i'm here all night
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the day after is always just damage control
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
