How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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