At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
