whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
