don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
