I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He has the fingertips of a God
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