Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
