I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
