Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
