I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
