my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
