Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
