You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
