ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
